french version of this blog…

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He is gone from us…present with the Father…

Dave Hopkins passed away this evening, January 30, 2008, at 6:05pm. This man who had a hard time really celebrating on Earth is at a celebration in Heaven, spread out just for him! And down here, we celebrate his promotion to Heaven as well…with tears…with smiles.

I love you, Daddy!

Your daughter…

PS…for anyone reading this, please check back in a few days for the most important words my father ever said, some of the last things he ever said, caught on video and uploaded here shortly.

Death watch…

If you’ve ever watched a loved one die, you know that one of the hardest parts is at the end when the person is not really here and not really gone, and you’re simply waiting for the end to come…pretty tough.

I went out behind my house where the wind was blowing through the trees and cried out to God as many other daughters, and sons, have throughout the millenia. There’s a certain pain for those on a death watch. Besides the imminent permanent earthly loss of my earthly father, I can’t really “get on with life” because Dad’s still here, though not really here anymore, and gone, but not gone yet. Yeah, I know I said that already but… (How many times in life do we live exactly like that, not fully engaged in the present to build a future…)

All day long I’ve been roaming around, putzing on my computer near my dad, not wanting to be absent when he absents himself. I know this is part of life, this dying thing, and I bring my kids in from time to time, as ugly as the scene is, with my dad’s face distorted. I tell them to take a quick peek. One of my children thinks it’s freaky but my youngest daughter keeps popping in, checking things out with curiosity.

I read Psalm 23 and Psalm 24 and Psalm 19 to my dad. (These passages are beautiful and you can read or listen to them online at http://www.gnpcb.org/esv/search/?q=Psalm+23 Just put in the passage in the search bar and it will be read to you from one of my favorite english versions.) There is no way to comprehend the majesty of the Lord God Almighty. We only get glimpses of it down here. My father is about to see it all. Praise the Lord!

My Heavenly Father sends His Comforter to me…the Holy Spirit! I receive comfort.

Learning how to live from the dying…

I’m sitting in the room where my Daddy’s dying. I’m prompted by so many recent observations to conclude that the dying can teach us so much about how to live. Here are a few thoughts:

1. Health issues: there are ways to avoid many health problems. If you don’t like what your dearly departed died of, don’t live the lifestyle he/she lived. While I’m grieved that my dad’s kidney failure and cancer finally wore him out, I’m so proud of him for doing the best he could to make good health choices.

My dad was teaching us about vitamins when we were little…we’d have contests about who could take the most of those nasty-tasting brewer’s yeast tablets in one swallow. I won a lot! My father didn’t drink any alcohol (a pity, in my opinion…wine’s good for you in moderation…and don’t argue with me…it’s a moot point!) and didn’t smoke. After he was diagnosed with cancer 15 or 16 years ago, he ate all sorts of weird stuff…different kinds of seaweed and algae and things no one can pronounce, all blended together…yuck! But that’s probably what extended his life so long.

How people handle stress also has a lot to do with their quality of life, longevity and susceptibility to illness, particularly various cancers and digestive disorders. My father did not deal well with stress. He was afflicted with tremendous passivity in response to marital and parenting issues. His only coping method was “stuffing”. He didn’t know how to work through conflict and so he just avoided it, which did not enhance communication and relationship in our family.

2. My father has no close friends in the local area. That’s sad. He is dying here at home with just my husband and our children (except for Melodie, our oldest, who is in California at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry…even more wild, crazy and awesome than it sounds!!  http://www.ibethel.org/schools/ministry/?page=27…), my uncle (Dad’s sister’s husband, Lawrence McAllister, Sr.) and the hospice workers who come in from time to time. His other dear brother-in-law, Jackson McAllister, and his niece Lyn and her husband Arthur, precious kin-folk for sure, were down here from British Columbia for a few days last week. 

My mother and my brother are not here. That relationship was severed years ago. May the Lord work his restoring, cleansing, healing power in those relationships through my father’s death.

My father, though very friendly and always eager to share the Gospel of God’s Salvation through Jesus Christ of Nazareth, found it difficult to be transparent enough and lacked the social skills to connect through casual conversation and develop long-term deep relationships with people. I think people thought of him, at least until a few years ago, as a pleasant, friendly man. He didn’t know how to have a casual conversation about anything other than Jesus, the only area he felt confident talking about. He wasn’t really into sports and though he loved listening to political talk shows, rarely entered conversations on the topic. Well, my dear Daddy’s about to enter a whole new real of real relationships in Heaven where nothing is hidden and love abounds.

Recommendations:

For health matters: http://www.mercola.com/ While there’s much I disagree with, there’s even more that is fabulous, solid health information you will not find anywhere else…good articles on many subjects. It’s the first place I start my research when looking for health-related information.

For “how to eat to live” (as opposed to “dieting,” generally thought of as a temporary remedy for lifelong health issues!), I recommend 2 books: The Maker’s Diet by Jordan Rubin  (http://www.makersdiet.com/ for the website, also available in book form from Amazon.com and major bookstores) and Body by God by Ben Lerner, in book form (including the FABULOUS “40 Day Extreme Makeover…by God” companion book…excellent!)

For spiritual matters: http://www.extremeprophetic.com/ or our church’s site http://www.therock.org/

More fabulous, life-changing resources, links and eyebrow-raising recommendations to come in future posts.

God is so good!

This could be the day…

Dad slept all day yesterday and hasn’t spoken since the day before. He’s now breathing heavily/snoring and is no longer “conscious”, though his eyes are open. I expect him to go today. Champagne’s cold and ready…and I’m sure they have special non-alcoholic wine ready for my Dad in Heaven…wouldn’t want to shock him with the real thing right off, you know…LOL!

Death, dying and hope…

My little daddy is dying. He’s fought that cancer demon for 15 years. It’s been a good fight. But his body is worn out…his soul is weary and his heart is broken. My daddy’s a broken man going to see the One who knows all the reasons for his brokenness.

This evening I stumbled on my mother’s wedding ring in an unused jewelry case. I didn’t even know it was in my house. My parents have been divorced for many years…the result of 2 broken people not knowing how to fix their own brokenness or their broken marriage. It’s sad…

So tonight, I grieve not only the impending death of my father, but also the death of all hope of reconciliation here on earth. Only in Heaven will we see as we are seen and see each other and understand.

In a few days, my dad will be gone from this earth and waiting for his “bride” (the way he’s always seen it, no matter what the judge said…), for her forgiveness for being a mere human, for not living up to her, or our expectations, and his tears will already have been dried by his Maker. My dear father will have met his Heavenly Father and finally find the unconditional acceptance he couldn’t find here on earth.

In the meantime, I tiptoe early each morning into the room we’ve set apart for his comfort at this time, and am confronted with my frustration that he wasn’t taken during the night. What are his angels doing, for crying out loud?!! (wry smile) I suppose “they” are still getting together that heavenly choir my dad’s going to lead for a few hundred years until he decides he wants to learn something new. My guess is that he’ll turn his attention to playing a keyboard of some kind (what kind of piano-type instruments are up there anyhow?…no electricity required!) and he’ll learn to play more than his one piece…”Mary Ellen with her nose turned up,” a goofy early 1900s song that is the sole content of his undeveloped repertoire.

One morning, I’ll go in and his Heavenly escort will have shown up and he’ll be gone, leaving his physical shell and his earthly sorrows behind. There’s a bottle of champagne for the adults and Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider for the kids in the fridge just waiting for that moment. There’s a celebration just around the corner! If my dad’s headed for a party in Heaven, there’s no reason we shouldn’t rejoice for him down here!